A new year is always a beautiful thing because it marks the beginning of a new chapter. At the start of the year, we are given the opportunity to get inspired and ambitious to set new goals, where we dream of victory and celebration at the end of the year. We spend time developing those goals and, on certain occasions, have all the execution plans ready by January. Have you ever wondered what percentage of people give up on their resolutions within one week of the new year? Twenty-five percent! Then it gets worse; by the end of six months, another sixty percent have given up entirely on their new year’s resolutions. That is eighty-five percent! What happened? Was it that we lost focus, motivation, got bored, lacked progress, lacked support, or what? Surely, you don't fall victim to this since you follow through on your goals and meet all the deadlines you set for yourself. Okay, when you come down from your planet, you will find us here on Earth where goals and resolutions are missed and given up on.
For the past several years, I've been searching for the formula for achieving goals and keeping my New Year's resolutions. I have read a few books and lots of articles, and despite having the knowledge, I often gave up in the face of overwhelming challenges. Don’t get me wrong; there is plenty of knowledge out there to help you stay motivated and accomplish your goals. So, if you have a system or a secret sauce that works for you, please share it with me either by commenting on this post or by sending me a message. Yes, I read them and will respond.
In this post, I will share what worked for me to attain both Awareness and Accountability (I call it the 2A battery tactic). But before I do that, I will share why I think we struggle to accomplish goals based on my experiences and struggles.
We should first consider the reasons why only fifteen percent of people are able to achieve a goal or hardwire a new healthy habit. The internet is saturated with articles and information that tells you why we continue to fail at this. I will share seven reasons I can relate to so you all (Not Ya’ll) can smell my dirty laundry and learn from my failures.
7 Reasons why we fail to achieve our goals:
1. My goal did not have an I.D.
This is one reason that previously drove my goals to an instant failure before I even started. I said things like “I want to lose weight,” “I will exercise more,” “I should drink more water,” “I need to be more social,” or “I need to read books.” The goals were all vague; they lacked definition, like how many pounds I wanted to lose or how many books I planned to read. Yup, if you have vague goals, you might as well jump from start to finish, with the finish being goal failure. You’re welcome!
2. An Ostrich Hostage
Listen, bottom line, if you cannot measure a goal, you will not be able to manage it. Sometimes the progress is slow and small, which may be why we try and avoid measuring it; for example, my ultimate fear of stepping on a scale one week into the diet and noticing I have only lost half a pound. That is called “The Ostrich Problem,” when we are scared of bad news and avoid learning about our progress. Do you like to stick your head in the sand to avoid danger, bad news, or lack of progress? Obviously, the answer is yes because if you ignore it, it does not happen. I know, right! Oh, and by the way, this is actually a myth about ostriches.
3. The Fear of Fruition
I wonder if the barrier is your fear of accomplishing the goal. I know this might sound crazy but have you considered that you might be internally scared to achieve your goal and see the fruit of your hard work? Sometimes we are scared to accomplish big goals to the point we will not allow ourselves to work toward them. Some individuals live with the belief they are fundamentally flawed and thus not deserving of success.
4. Do not think about Elephants
Another one of my struggles is due to suffering from the “White Bear Syndrome,” or others call it “Ironic Process Theory.” In other words, the more you try to suppress a thought, the more it will stay on your mind. So do not think about elephants. Stop thinking about their long trunks and erase the image of an elephant’s big ears. The same goes for your goals. Frame your goals positively and keep repeating them. For example, if you want to eat apples instead of fries, stop saying, “I can’t eat fries. Fries are bad.” Instead, start saying, “I need to eat apples. I can eat apples as my side.” Stop saying, “I can’t watch porn. Porn is bad. I have to stop watching porn.” Well, now all that you can think about is porn. If you are thinking about elephants, porn, or elephants having sex, you got the point. Frame it positively.
5. Get off the Elevator
The story I tell myself on day one of a new diet is that I expect to start losing weight that same day and expect to lose more on day two and so on. In a way, I want my weight on the scale to decline as fast as the number on the small screen inside an elevator when you step into it on the 90th floor and press “Lobby.” Like a straight shot down. I know I am the only one who struggled with weight loss. You did not, I know.
6. You are not important
One of my top barriers to accomplishing goals is the unrealistic expectations that I must be perfect and execute flawlessly. For years, I kept telling myself I was not good enough to start a blog, no one would ever read my writing, and I do not think it brings any value. I also struggled with self-worth when I was single. Rather than being myself, I tried to pretend to be perfect and flawless so that girls would like me, but it didn't work. Then one day, I started telling myself, “You are not important; you are not the best blogger, and your articles might not have any audience, and you will probably end up being the only follower to your blog. Now that these thoughts are out of the way, start writing.” At that point, I unleashed my creativity, started writing freely, and got my thoughts out. As far as dating, I start telling myself, “I am not the best-looking man. I probably do not bring a lot to the table, and probably lots of girls will not want to be with me. But if there were a chance someone would want to date me, I will make sure they see the true me and be clear about what is important to me”. At that point, I met my wife, who accepted me for who I am and who is the best thing that ever happened to me. If we all are extraordinary, then no one is extraordinary; you can make ordinary awesome. If you think this is an invitation to speak negatively about yourself, you missed the point and need to read that section again.
7. Stop lying, Pinocchio!
The sooner you confront yourself about a goal you lie about, the quicker you will be able to move beyond it so that you can set a goal you actually have a chance of achieving. I personally hate running; if you see me running, then there is a 100% chance I am running away from danger, and you need to join me. I also don’t like gyms. It's just not my thing. I cannot tell you how many times I have missed going and how much money I have wasted on memberships. As a result, I had to face the truth and stop setting goals for the gym and running since I am 100% likely to fail. I realized I had the opportunity to establish goals for things I enjoy, so instead of the gym, I go hiking, and instead of running, I walk.
So, what worked?
In the second section, I'd like to share one of my favorite techniques, the tracker jars, that I use to achieve goals and maintain healthy habits. Bad ones do not need any help; they are good as they are.
One year, I intentionally reached out and planted seeds of positive thoughts and encouragement among my circles. That January, I started to reach out weekly to some friends and shared a positive link to a motivational video or texted them an inspiring quote. After just three weeks, life and work got in the way, and I failed to keep the momentum.
Then I decided to try something else to help me get back on track. I got two jars, one with a gold lid and the other with a silver lid. I put ten paper clips in the silver jar and labeled it “To Do,” and labeled the golden jar “Done.” Every time I share an inspiring video or an encouraging quote with someone, I move a paper clip from the silver jar to the gold jar. My weekly goal is to finish moving all of them over. That’s where the power of visual progress trackers lies, helping me to stay on track. I sent out over five hundred encouraging and motivating quotes and videos to people throughout the year.
Think of what you could accomplish with tracker jars, both personally and professionally. You can use them to establish a healthy habit like eating healthy meals or controlling your cheat meals, saving money or control spending, complimenting your wife (Yes, they need all the words of affirmations. ALL OF THEM. ALL THE TIME!), staying hydrated or your soda allowance (I am guilty of that, Coke Zero is my delight). The list goes on! Either you can keep a record of how many positive actions you accomplish each week to establish a healthy habit, or you can keep track of your allowance to start diminishing and eliminating unhealthy actions. In simple terms, it promotes a healthy lifestyle and removes any UTOs (Unhealthy Toxic Outlets) by dialing up healthy outlets and dialing down unhealthy outlets. You can learn more about UTOs by reading my post "The Stump that Chumped Me" to find out if there is any hope for you.
Whether it is a stand-alone symbol or a visual progress tracker, I believe each one has a different purpose, and both can be instrumental in helping you not overthink and reach your goals.
Here is a list of some habits and goals from my personal life where I used the tracker jars to hardwire healthy habits and eliminate unhealthy ones:
1. Read books
2. Cheat meals
3. Healthy meals
4. Drink water
5. Drink Coke Zero (I keep failing at that one, and I don’t care)
6. Reach out to friends
7. Progress shots (before and after) for house projects
And here is another list of ideas you can use the tracker jars for:
1. Going to the gym
2. Walking
3. Complimenting your wife
4. Gifting your wife
5. Amazon shopping
6. Smoking
7. Drinking alcohol
8. Dating
9. Sex
10. Volunteering
11. Emergency Funds
12. Paying Off Debt
That’s it for now so if you have found this helpful to you, why not share it with others? Make sure you subscribe so I can connect with you and notify you of future content. Bye for now!